When the repubs stormed Bush’s Oval, and said, “W, we got worries. This Iraq thing is chappin our ass dude! You gotta do something. We can’t win the White House with Iraq on our heads. “Bush: heeheeheeheee heee hhhheee Don’t worry about it. We gotz ourselves a plan. See, we know what idiots the people are. For craps sakes, we stole 2000, we stole 2004, and we STILL have Deibold. Heeeheeeh eehehehhhehhheeeee. Renquist was brilliant. I ain’t gonna let him down. Gore gonna get his prize….so everybody’s happy.
So here’s the deal. By the time 2008 rolls around, you don’t gotta worry about it because we’ll surge right before that and fix it some. Lipstick on a pig. They’ll buy it. Specially my churchy folk. I just keep tellin em God is in my corner, and it’s all good. McCain will go along with that, and he’ll get out in front on that, cuz he wants to win the big un in 2008. He aint’ gonna though, cuz the cape don’t fit him. Heeeheeehhh heehehhheheeee.
Also, we got people all set up and there gonna start givin those broke ass MF’s some high interest loans they won’t be able to pay back. These guys over at Countrywide gonna hand those loans out like candy. Those poor smellin folk will come running for some of Daddy’s pork and they’ll suck on that for about 2 years, maybe 3, and then BAM, they can’t pay it back cuz we raise the interest on those fools and they get stuck like a rattler in a sticky bush. We got some good advice from the Katrina people. We know what we’re doin.
Then, our friends at Bank of America gonna swoop in and buy it up from Countrywide. Otherwise, countrywide wouldn’t a done the deal. So, that’s covered. So, buy the time 2008 comes, those guys in Iraq will be happy just to see some help coming. We’ll tell the insurgents to cool it, just until November 11, then they can go back to what thay’s doin before that. Heeeheeehhheeeeeh heeehehehe.
Anyways, so you got nothing to worry about. We got all those Dems phones and offices tapped. They ain’t gonna say anything, and so, that’s it. We got it locked up like a chastity belt. No one’s gettin in fellas. Don’t worry. Just play along. And by about August, or September, will do something really good like catch Osama, then it’s done. We win. Osama says he’s cleared his schedule. He just needs the last details when we’re ready. And if he changes his mind, we’ll just nuke somethin around here, and call it a war. We;ll call it ARMAGEDDON. People love that shit. CNN can do some planning on that if I asks em.
So, you ain’t gonna half ta talk about Iraq. The stock market’s gonna tank. Ya better get your lists before that happens, and then it’s 24/7 RECESSION BABY – yahoooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh shit, I gotta go. I gotta go over and book the Libary for the speech Mitt is gonna be makin. Make yourself at home guys. Sniff the sofas. Pour yerself some Remy. Relax, CNN’s on board. They story boardin some big news on how bad the economy is gettin, and they’re gonna scare the tabacco crap outta everybody. We got the Networks ready for the Writers Strike, so that damn Jay Leno don’t piss me off. MSNBC too. We got lots of help. Our big corp friends are gonna help us out to. We got it handled. Oh, and ….Fox calls me everyday laughin their ass off. We just gotta do somethin about that Oldermann fella on MSNBC. He’s a big ol texas thorn in my backside and I aim to tell him, if ya know what I mean.
Ya gotta admit, it is funny ain’t it…..heeeeheheehheeee heeeheeeehheee
(this was only done for humor – this is not a true story – as far as I know of – for sure. )
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